1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,060 Time I lick you's eye, I like coffee, tease your bag. 2 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:09,640 Go and make no sense, it's true, there's no me without you. 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,540 Till Death is filmed in front of a live studio audience. 4 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,020 Look at that, boink! 5 00:00:21,380 --> 00:00:25,360 Hey, you said you had a date tonight, I didn't know you meant a play date. 6 00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:29,100 This girl Julie, I'm sure she has a deadline at work. 7 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:31,440 And her baby said to quit, so I told her I'll watch her boys. 8 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:33,660 Well, I feel like a minority in my own house. 9 00:00:37,860 --> 00:00:39,360 Now I know how Brad Pitt feels. 10 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,300 This is Chung Ho Chung Hee, and what's your name again? 11 00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:50,020 Ernie. 12 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,820 Well, I don't know if you guys are old enough to have a favorite place on the 13 00:00:55,820 --> 00:00:57,980 couch, but I am, so scooch. 14 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,900 I hope we brought enough food for everybody because these kids are 15 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:05,040 there's a pizza in the freezer. 16 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:08,160 Oh, there was pizza. He sniffed that thing out and ate it frozen. 17 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:17,100 Would you kids like to split a curly fry? 18 00:01:19,420 --> 00:01:20,420 Kenny? 19 00:01:23,780 --> 00:01:24,780 I'll take care of it. 20 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,160 Put that stuff in the kitchen, boys. 21 00:01:31,020 --> 00:01:35,720 Honey, I've been saying that for 23 years of our marriage. Always... What 22 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:36,720 hell is that? 23 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:43,240 What? What's wrong with it? Well, nothing, but you're using all the 24 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:44,600 you're leaving something to the imagination. 25 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,240 I want to look nice. 26 00:01:47,580 --> 00:01:49,200 I'm going out with my new friend, Eileen. 27 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:50,680 You know, the one I met at the museum. 28 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:53,780 Museum? Yeah, it was raining. I went in to steal an umbrella. 29 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,880 I like museums. They got those guards with those big furry hats. 30 00:01:58,570 --> 00:01:59,970 Try to make them laugh, they won't laugh. 31 00:02:02,430 --> 00:02:03,550 That's Buckingham Palace. 32 00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:06,050 Oh. 33 00:02:06,110 --> 00:02:07,490 Then I've never been to a museum before. 34 00:02:08,930 --> 00:02:13,410 Anyway, she is smart and she's cool and she's classy, so here's what I need you 35 00:02:13,410 --> 00:02:14,410 to do. Joy, relax. 36 00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:15,950 I make a great first impression. 37 00:02:16,190 --> 00:02:16,948 Of course you do. 38 00:02:16,950 --> 00:02:20,550 Listen, Kenny, if I introduce you as my husband, just go with it. 39 00:02:21,670 --> 00:02:25,090 Wait, wait, wait, wait. I need some backstory. I mean, how do your parents 40 00:02:25,090 --> 00:02:25,759 about us? 41 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:27,400 Are they cool with me even though our love is taboo? 42 00:02:32,540 --> 00:02:33,800 You know what? Never mind. 43 00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:36,000 I'll just go with freak number one. 44 00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:41,740 Hey, Julie. Oh, you look great. 45 00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:43,040 Thank you. And cute house. 46 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:44,319 Thank you. 47 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:47,200 Yeah, 300 more payments and it's half hours. 48 00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:50,620 Eileen, this is our friend Kenny. 49 00:02:50,860 --> 00:02:52,020 Hi, Kenny. Who is that? 50 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,520 And this is my husband, Eddie. 51 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:54,399 Hi, Eddie. 52 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,400 Hi, Eddie. 53 00:02:56,679 --> 00:02:57,679 I'm Eddie. 54 00:02:57,740 --> 00:02:59,100 You're Eileen. Hi, Eileen. 55 00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:01,418 From Eddie. 56 00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:02,420 With care. 57 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,880 Okay, we're going to get going. 58 00:03:07,260 --> 00:03:08,400 Nice job, by the way. 59 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,200 What's going on with you? 60 00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:15,780 Oh, boy. 61 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:19,300 Okay, this is bad. This is so, so bad. 62 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,340 Yeah. How did a simple hello go so wrong? 63 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,500 I know Eileen. I dated Eileen. 64 00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:29,160 Isn't Eileen the girl who just left here? Yes, yes. We used to go out. 65 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:31,820 No, no, no, no, no. The girl who just left here. 66 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:34,760 The one that's not your wife. Yes. 67 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:38,320 Yes, I dated her before I met Joy for like two months. 68 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:39,980 Did she lose a ton of weight? 69 00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:42,420 No. 70 00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:44,020 Were you rich back then? 71 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,480 Are you done? 72 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:47,860 Yes. 73 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,200 Green card? 74 00:03:49,220 --> 00:03:50,220 I'm thanking you. 75 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,880 What am I going to do? I just got to tell Joy. 76 00:03:54,340 --> 00:03:57,600 But then again, if she never finds out, I just opened up a can of worms for 77 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,460 nothing. Don't tell her. Lock it up. 78 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,660 Yeah, but if I don't tell her and then she finds out, then it looks like I was 79 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:03,478 hiding something. 80 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:04,480 Spill the beans. 81 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:05,600 Shut up on the rooftops. 82 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,640 You just can't agree with everything I'm saying. 83 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,220 You have to come up with... I need an honest opinion. 84 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,240 In my honest opinion, I don't believe you ever slept with that girl. 85 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,780 How did your big night out on the town go? 86 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,700 Oh, so great. 87 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:39,000 Do you know how amazing Eileen is? I do. I mean, I can imagine how cool I do. 88 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:45,260 Why don't you tell me? We spent the entire evening talking about art and 89 00:04:45,260 --> 00:04:49,360 and literature, and I only had to pretend like I knew what she was talking 90 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,020 like 30 % of the time. 91 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,500 And they said drinking your way through junior college wouldn't pay off. 92 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:57,380 I know, right? 93 00:04:58,450 --> 00:05:00,270 We just had the best time. Ah, terrific. 94 00:05:00,870 --> 00:05:02,410 Did my name come up? Yeah. 95 00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:07,950 It was kind of funny. We were at the bar, and this guy was hitting on me, and 96 00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:10,070 told him I was married, and he asked me your name. 97 00:05:12,990 --> 00:05:14,450 I'm totally blanked. 98 00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:25,050 Listen, honey, I have to tell you something, and I don't want to hurt you. 99 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:36,580 Well, maybe I want to hurt you a little. 100 00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:40,380 Honey, Eileen and I used to go out. 101 00:05:40,980 --> 00:05:43,140 What? Yeah, we used to date. 102 00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:44,700 Date? 103 00:05:44,860 --> 00:05:46,400 You mean like dinner and a movie date? 104 00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:51,000 More like dinner and a movie and your dog seems upset that I'm doing this to 105 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,000 date. 106 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:19,560 And I'll have the... All the stuff she just said. 107 00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:21,340 And fries. 108 00:06:25,220 --> 00:06:29,980 So... So... What did you want to talk to me about? 109 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,920 Well, Eileen, it's kind of awkward. 110 00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:34,660 It's about Eddie. 111 00:06:35,690 --> 00:06:38,330 I don't know quite how to say this. It's about me and Eddie dating. 112 00:06:38,630 --> 00:06:40,190 Yes. Oh, thank God. 113 00:06:40,770 --> 00:06:44,130 I really wanted to say something to you about it the other night, but I just... 114 00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:46,590 I didn't think it was my place. No, it's no big deal. 115 00:06:46,790 --> 00:06:50,050 I just... I didn't want things to be weird between us. Oh, no, no, no, no. Of 116 00:06:50,050 --> 00:06:54,330 course not. I mean, it was so long ago. And, you know, I mean, even though he 117 00:06:54,330 --> 00:07:00,530 broke my heart, it was... He broke your heart? 118 00:07:00,890 --> 00:07:02,730 Oh, yeah. 119 00:07:03,070 --> 00:07:05,410 I was... devastated when he ended it. 120 00:07:06,470 --> 00:07:07,470 Really? 121 00:07:09,890 --> 00:07:11,370 Devastated with relief? 122 00:07:13,490 --> 00:07:15,930 No, no, no. I was crushed. 123 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:22,230 I mean, I don't have to tell you what an amazing, passionate, sensitive man your 124 00:07:22,230 --> 00:07:23,670 husband is. Tell me. 125 00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:29,090 Well, I mean, obviously, he's just so sexy. 126 00:07:29,510 --> 00:07:30,510 Obviously. 127 00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:35,830 And, oh, he had those amazing, Big hands. They were almost like guns. 128 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:36,830 hands? 129 00:07:37,130 --> 00:07:38,170 Yeah, right? 130 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:44,410 Oh, and I remember, he used to wear this really sexy shark tooth choker. 131 00:07:47,530 --> 00:07:52,130 Yeah, that's in a box in the attic labeled, do not open unless you're Don 132 00:07:52,130 --> 00:07:53,130 Johnson. 133 00:07:54,130 --> 00:07:58,650 So funny. Oh, that reminds me. Did he still flick his hair back like Pat 134 00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:01,970 No, he stopped after staining his third lazy boy. 135 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,200 Thank you. 136 00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:08,240 Yeah, he's just such a regular guy, you know? 137 00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:14,160 Manly, no pretensions. Oh, and so funny. Does he still do all this hilarious 138 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,160 impression? 139 00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:16,740 He does impressions. 140 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,860 He always had me laughing. 141 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,540 Except when I wasn't laughing. 142 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,660 I'm sorry. Is that inappropriate? 143 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:31,460 No, it's fascinating. 144 00:08:37,380 --> 00:08:38,219 Hang on. 145 00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:39,220 How was your lunch? 146 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:49,140 I got Russian dressing running down 147 00:08:49,140 --> 00:08:50,140 my chin. 148 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,880 Leave it. It's manly and unpretentious. 149 00:08:53,140 --> 00:08:55,200 Yeah, but it's mixing in with my neck sweat. 150 00:08:55,980 --> 00:09:01,700 Take me to bed, you big, sexy, circus freak. What are you doing? 151 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:02,960 For after. 152 00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:09,160 Looks like somebody had the oysters. 153 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,299 That's right. 154 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,020 Joke it up, funny man. Mama lied. 155 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:16,880 How 156 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:30,620 many 157 00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,680 of these do I have to eat before they consider it stealing? 158 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,700 One, sir. 159 00:09:36,970 --> 00:09:39,110 In that case, I'm two grand deep in the nut bin. 160 00:09:44,570 --> 00:09:48,150 Chung -hee, do not put that in your mouth. I am not playing. Think I'm 161 00:09:48,230 --> 00:09:48,989 Because I'm not. 162 00:09:48,990 --> 00:09:49,889 Don't test me. 163 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,890 Do not test me! 164 00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:55,350 All right, that's it. You guys just lost video games for the rest of the day. 165 00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:57,250 Hey, Eddie, what's up, man? 166 00:09:57,510 --> 00:09:59,770 Hey, looks like you got your hands full, huh? 167 00:10:00,090 --> 00:10:02,170 Yeah, you really start to see yourself in them, you know? 168 00:10:05,050 --> 00:10:06,050 It's uncanny. 169 00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:07,910 What are you doing in the supermarket? 170 00:10:08,010 --> 00:10:11,230 Just a little shopping. I'm going to be cooking dinner tonight for my ladies, 171 00:10:11,530 --> 00:10:12,530 Joy and Eileen. 172 00:10:12,630 --> 00:10:16,490 Oh, so Joy never found out about you two. She did find out. And guess what? 173 00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:18,690 Turns out that Eileen really never got over me. 174 00:10:20,030 --> 00:10:22,210 Eileen, the hot girl is at your house. Yes. 175 00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,970 And every time they're hanging out, she always tells Joy about all the things 176 00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:30,010 she used to love about me. Gets Joy all pumped up, she comes home and rocks my 177 00:10:30,010 --> 00:10:34,110 world. Oh, so because another woman thinks you're cool, now Joy's seeing you 178 00:10:34,110 --> 00:10:35,069 a whole new light. 179 00:10:35,070 --> 00:10:38,860 Exactly. Last night we did it face to face, eyes open, no alcohol. 180 00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:18,940 Take your coat. Oh, thank you. 181 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:21,120 Just put him right there in his big paws. 182 00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:24,020 Thank you. 183 00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:28,900 Why don't I tell Joy you're here, or maybe I'll have Herman Munster tell her. 184 00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,380 Joy, kids, Grandpa. 185 00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:34,380 Eileen's here. 186 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,000 I'm in her two seconds. He's already got me laughing. 187 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,560 Oh, that's my Eddie. 188 00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:46,560 Hey, do another one. Do, um, do Al Pacino. No, no, I don't want to show. 189 00:11:47,150 --> 00:11:49,750 Don't tell you what to do in my own house. Let her know. 190 00:11:49,950 --> 00:11:51,370 Let her know, cockroach. 191 00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:55,790 Joy, thank you for having me over and for sharing your husband with me for a 192 00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:58,090 night. Don't forget, I'm taking him back in the morning. 193 00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:02,910 Okay, you know what I'm going to do? Make yourself comfortable. Please, both 194 00:12:02,910 --> 00:12:06,470 you. I'm going to go into the kitchen and whip up some Brandy Alexanders and 195 00:12:06,470 --> 00:12:08,030 we're going to get this party started. 196 00:12:12,710 --> 00:12:13,710 I want soda. 197 00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:15,950 Yeah, I told you boys, no drinks until after the movie. 198 00:12:17,790 --> 00:12:20,210 Because when I go to the bathroom, I don't need someone to go with me to help 199 00:12:20,210 --> 00:12:21,210 take my pants off. 200 00:12:22,510 --> 00:12:23,510 Mommy! 201 00:12:25,810 --> 00:12:26,850 Julie, what are you doing here? 202 00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:28,350 What you all working? 203 00:12:28,710 --> 00:12:29,710 Who's this guy? 204 00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:31,290 That's Mommy's boyfriend. 205 00:12:32,190 --> 00:12:33,330 So that was Mommy's boyfriend. 206 00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:36,550 Hey, hey, I'm Rick. 207 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:39,050 What's going on, Julie? 208 00:12:39,850 --> 00:12:40,970 I'm sorry, Kenny. 209 00:12:41,450 --> 00:12:42,890 What does this guy have that I don't have? 210 00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:46,470 Besides great looks, awesome clothes, and a... 211 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,780 If it makes you feel any better, you've been doing a great job. 212 00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:54,320 And the kids just love you. 213 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,540 Yeah, he was going to take us to go see Death Troopers 4. 214 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,360 You were going to take them to see a PD -13 movie? 215 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,620 You are in no position to be questioning my parenting skills right now. 216 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,620 This is over. That's it. 217 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,160 Practice your piano. 218 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,440 You stop setting things on fire. 219 00:13:13,980 --> 00:13:16,960 And you drink this whole soda and make Rick take you to the bathroom. 220 00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:29,770 That is why the giraffe said, the high balls are on me. 221 00:13:33,630 --> 00:13:36,750 All right. Oh, my, my, my. 222 00:13:37,490 --> 00:13:43,970 This is just like old times. Well, actually, it is like old times because 223 00:13:43,970 --> 00:13:48,570 three of us have never been together before, so it's kind of like too old 224 00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:51,950 woven into one very special new tie. 225 00:13:54,430 --> 00:13:56,350 Here's the special new tie. 226 00:13:56,830 --> 00:14:01,590 Perfect. Hey, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I don't want to embarrass anybody 227 00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:04,990 here, but, um, I brought pictures. 228 00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:06,330 No! 229 00:14:06,710 --> 00:14:07,710 No! 230 00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:09,510 Come on, sister. 231 00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:11,030 Here's that. 232 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,020 parachute to make those pants. 233 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:28,620 Wait, I have some Eddie pictures of my own. No, no, no, do not, young lady, do 234 00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:32,140 not bring out that flowered photo album. Not the flowered one. 235 00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:37,380 You're not bringing it. Do not bring it. I will kill you. I will kill you if you 236 00:14:37,380 --> 00:14:38,380 open it. 237 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:43,500 I have one with a mullet, mutton chops, and a biker jacket. No. 238 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:44,900 Oh, 239 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,200 you didn't. 240 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:49,360 Oh, no. 241 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:57,920 I always wanted to be in a motorcycle gang, but it really wasn't a gang. 242 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,800 It was more like a club. It was me and two dentists, okay? 243 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,140 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, hang on. 244 00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:08,660 Here's one of Eddie in an REO Speedwagon t -shirt. 245 00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:12,720 That was a gag. That was not my shirt. 246 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:17,260 Here's him in a different REO Speedwagon t -shirt at an REO Speedwagon concert. 247 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,780 I'm not going to lie. I love the wagon. 248 00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:25,560 I think that concert was the last date we ever went on. Really? 249 00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:30,450 I remember you broke up with me right when we got back into the car. And then 250 00:15:30,450 --> 00:15:34,030 took us like 90 minutes to get out of the parking lot. Yes, yes, yes. I 251 00:15:34,030 --> 00:15:37,330 remember. And they were playing all those breakup songs on the radio. Oh, 252 00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:38,330 torture. Yeah. 253 00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:40,320 Oh, it was totally brutal. 254 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,220 Oh, it was brutal. That was the craziest breakup I've ever had. Really? Yeah. 255 00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:45,300 Oh, my God, I feel horrible. 256 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:46,500 Oh, please, no. 257 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:52,400 I'm sure the whole thing was my fault. Can I be honest? It was nothing that you 258 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:56,340 did, you know? And it was kind of meant to be we were broken up because then I 259 00:15:56,340 --> 00:16:00,140 found my girl and I ended up with the love of my life. Lucky man. And anyway, 260 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:03,920 you were way out of my league. Oh, come on. That's ridiculous. 261 00:16:04,260 --> 00:16:05,219 No, no, really. 262 00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:08,340 I mean, look at you, look at me. 263 00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:09,620 You know? 264 00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:13,060 All I was thinking is, how can I spend the rest of my life walking down the 265 00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:15,120 street with everybody going, you know, what the hell happened there? 266 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:16,440 What, Eddie? 267 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,040 No, that is not true. 268 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:19,319 No, seriously. 269 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:23,840 It is not. Am I right? I mean, we are like two different galaxies, me and her. 270 00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:25,540 No, Eddie, stop. 271 00:16:25,820 --> 00:16:30,600 No, it's like, see, you're the girl I get in the movies, you see? But in real 272 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,000 life, I probably end up with someone like, I don't know. Me? 273 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:35,520 Exactly. 274 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:49,570 And that's why real life is better than the movies. 275 00:16:50,950 --> 00:16:52,210 The end. 276 00:16:53,150 --> 00:16:54,890 Who's up for charades? 277 00:17:08,310 --> 00:17:11,230 Uh, everything's cleaned up down there. 278 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,800 Did the dishes, put everything away. 279 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:20,980 Good luck finding your salad tongs, because Lord knows what drawer I put 280 00:17:20,980 --> 00:17:21,980 in. 281 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,079 Oh, men are so stupid. 282 00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:32,360 Hey, what a night, huh? 283 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:38,780 Boy, those Brandy Alexanders, they sure make you say things you don't mean, huh? 284 00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:41,810 Am I right? 285 00:17:44,410 --> 00:17:49,410 Honey, you seem a little tense. How about a shoulder massage from Mr. Big 286 00:17:50,630 --> 00:17:51,630 That's it. 287 00:17:55,570 --> 00:17:57,430 Maybe Herman Munster could give you a massage. 288 00:17:58,050 --> 00:17:59,070 Rub -a -dub -dub -a -lay. 289 00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:07,770 It's all right if it's not working for you. So, just a... 290 00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:11,780 Just tell me where I am here. Is this go sleep on the couch bed, or should I be 291 00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:13,780 looking for a corporate apartment down by the airport? 292 00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:17,340 You do what you want to do. 293 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:24,400 Joy, honey, look, I'm sorry about what I said. I was just trying to make 294 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,400 Eileen feel better. 295 00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:29,940 Believe it or not, it was the first time that I ever had to give a woman a sorry 296 00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:31,780 I broke your heart speech. 297 00:18:32,460 --> 00:18:36,780 I once had to give a woman a sorry I broke your foot speech, but that was... 298 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,200 Let me tell you something, pal. 299 00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:42,620 I am way out of your league. 300 00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:46,520 Absolutely. I mean, I could have had a million guys that were better than you. 301 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:50,960 Two million. Okay? And when we walk down the street, people look at us and they 302 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:51,960 say, what the hell happened there? 303 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,600 That's right. I am down here and you are way up here. 304 00:18:55,840 --> 00:19:00,560 I mean, I'm the classy one. I love the opera. I like fine wines. 305 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:01,880 I like museums. 306 00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:03,460 I am sophisticated. 307 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,980 I am married to the freaking Queen of England right here. 308 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,400 Yes. 309 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:09,640 Who the hell am I kidding? 310 00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:11,580 I don't like any of that stuff. 311 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,840 Eileen's way out of my league. No, she is not. 312 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,960 Honey, I met the woman stealing an umbrella. 313 00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,600 That's because you're crafty. See? 314 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:27,100 Okay, look, if you were stranded on a desert island, what would you rather be, 315 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,920 classy or crafty? 316 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:34,120 Honey, crafty is not good. When you walk down the street, guys don't say, hey, 317 00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:35,820 check out that girl. She's crafty. 318 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:42,950 Let me explain something to you. I didn't want a woman who was 319 00:19:42,950 --> 00:19:43,950 classy. 320 00:19:44,130 --> 00:19:45,370 I wanted you. 321 00:19:48,630 --> 00:19:52,550 I love that we season pass cops. 322 00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:56,510 I love how at best you can only name 20 states. 323 00:19:57,290 --> 00:20:01,970 I love how we pretend we're in an argument when we go to the supermarket 324 00:20:01,970 --> 00:20:03,110 don't have to register to vote. 325 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,000 I love those things too. 326 00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:12,940 And you know what? 327 00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:17,840 Eileen wishes she had something that we have. 328 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:20,320 What do we have? 329 00:20:21,460 --> 00:20:22,460 Each other. 330 00:20:28,420 --> 00:20:31,040 Yeah. So, we good? 331 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,060 Because I was lying about the kitchen. It's a mess down there. 332 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:49,140 Hey, what's going on? 333 00:20:50,140 --> 00:20:51,140 Nothing much. 334 00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:52,540 How's the family? 335 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000 In turmoil. 336 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:56,440 What's the matter? 337 00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:01,220 Well, I went to the movies tonight, and I ran into Julie and her boyfriend. 338 00:21:02,620 --> 00:21:04,140 Turns out she was just using me. 339 00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:06,240 Wow, never saw that one coming. 340 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,140 Look, buddy, don't worry about it. You'll get over her. 341 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:12,580 I don't care about her. 342 00:21:13,220 --> 00:21:14,220 Why are you so upset? 343 00:21:16,780 --> 00:21:17,780 I miss my kid.